| ...i'll fall to my knees and pray for your death..'s Journal |
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...i'll fall to my knees and pray for your death..
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| Fuck the past... |
[03 Feb 2006|02:15pm] |
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mood |
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 nauseated |
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Fuck you for tainting what I had
Fuck you for stll affecting my life
Fuck you for taking away the one thing I need
Fuck you for being you
Fuck you for existing
Fuck you for breathing
Fuck you for knowing my name
Fuck you for living
Fuck you for having moments in my life
Fuck you
If I could go back and relive my life, you'd just be a shadow walking by
"You've got to put the past behind you, so you can move on"
I wanna bury the past in a 30 foot grave with you still breathing in the coffin
Fuck you.
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| Profession of Love... |
[03 Feb 2006|12:10am] |
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I don't know if even writing this will change a damn thing, but I will let be known what is already known. I'm in love with a certain girl. Most of you, if not all, know I love Carolina Stephanie Gattas. In the last few months, she has showed me the value of the word love. She has been there for me in the low points and of course the highs. We together have suffered lows and enjoyed the ultimate highs. She has taken care of me when I have been sick with a cold, or depressed with my inner demons. She has gone out of her way to make me happy. Wether it be buying me food or drink when I don't have the cash, or surprising me with gifts that I didn't even ask for (wicked awesome red sox hat). I know your own parents have objected to you seeing me (especially when your mom tried to set you up with that jerk on the cruise) you stuck with me. From our biggest fights to our best sleepovers, we spend pretty much every waking moment together. Sometimes figuritively, thinking about each other, to literally waking up next to each other. No one has ever treated me this way in my entire life. It all changed when I met you. You treat me like gold. I walk around, and pretty much everything I see, I am, reminded of you. Chatsworth Park to where we shared our first kiss, to seeing every chocolate product known to man, knowing you love chocolate. Little things like scratches on my arm or my back to remind me you were there. Or maybe the little ice cream sticker that I look at every time I get into the my car. Things that I remember about you that shouldnt matter, but they do because IT IS you. Your favorite vitamin water is fruit punch or dragon fruit, you're way into cosmotology stuff like face cleaning, and skin, your favorite band is Mae, you like to wear teals, blues, greens and blacks. Italian and Argentine food is your favorite. Most of the time if not always you get Bday cake remix at Coldstones or Cherry Charger at Jamba Juice, if it's in season, if not, you get the mango one. Right now i'm pretty much rambling, but God damn it, there's alot here I have written to profess how much I love this girl. If livejournal entries prove how much you love someone, then I must have missed the memo. But for me, I prefer expressing my love the old fashioned way in person, not over an online journal. I Love you Steph.
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| X-Ray... |
[29 Jan 2006|01:27am] |
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mood |
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 uncomfortable |
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I broke my arm tonight. Sweet fucking deal. Now I must prepare for gimp fest 2006. Pictures of it will be up next time.
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| $$$... |
[27 Oct 2005|05:58pm] |
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Money, money, money, moooney...MOOOOOOOONEEEEEEEY!!!
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| Wow... |
[16 Oct 2005|01:10pm] |
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mood |
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 infuriated |
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I fucking knew it.
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| Dismissed... |
[10 Sep 2005|01:06pm] |
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mood |
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 ecstatic |
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Yves graduated yesterday from Marine boot camp. And I have never been more proud of him.
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| Katrina... |
[07 Sep 2005|12:55pm] |
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Total fucking bum out.
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| Winding Down... |
[12 Jul 2005|12:11pm] |
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If you weren't at the show last night, or didn't hear already, If It Kills is breaking up. We will have one more show. Who is playing and when it is hasn't been discussed yet, so i'll keep you posted. Matt and Nick will be moving on to their punk/crust band with Joe from Fortunate Son. Jarred and I started a band with Tim Butcher (Lead By Example) and Myke DooDoo (ex IA, More to Pride). Our band will be a sXe extravaganza sounding in the vein of Comeback Kid and Bane. On a better note, seeing everyone last night was awesome. Beaver, Tony and the rest of the 310 beans. Then all my homies in RIOT. Also good to finally see Skare Tactic. See you all at the last show.
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| Everyone's Doing It... |
[16 Jun 2005|10:54am] |
1. Reply with your name and I will write something I like about you.
2. I will then tell what song reminds me of you.
3. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, I'll tell you what it would be.
4. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
5. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
6. I will tell you what color you remind me of.
7. Put this in your journal
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| Har Har Har... |
[31 May 2005|05:45pm] |
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Pablo Francisco tomorrow at the Irvine Improv. So far Myke, Luis and me are rolling for sure. I am SO fucking stoked to laugh till I can't breath anymore.
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| Change It Up... |
[26 May 2005|10:36am] |
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Summer is here and the time to go to the beach and pool is eminent. Cept for me. Why? Cause I'm fat, and way self conscience. I'm 210 lbs, which means i'm about 20 to 30 lbs overweight. The next few months I'll be training. Everything from running to biking, weight lifting and getting my kickboxing techniques back up to par. Of course eating habits will change also. I'm sick and tired of whom i've been these past few years. My self esteem is very low. My self confidence in my physical appearance sucks. I feel so ugly and unattractive. I know i'm running myself down, and maybe i'm too hard on myself, but just maybe this is just what it takes to change myself for the better.
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| Darth Dew... |
[14 May 2005|12:38pm] |
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I'm in class right now, and I want a huge slurpee filled with Darth Dew.
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| Dictionary... |
[03 Apr 2005|02:21pm] |
Love - "luh-v" - to care about someone more than you could possibly care for yourself. To have a constant thought in your mind for another persons well being. To give yourself entirely to someone. Not an infatuation. Not lust. A willingness to sacrifice even what you love most for that person.
Give me your definition.
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| Yep... |
[27 Mar 2005|01:09am] |
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Tonight was good. If It Kills had our CD release show tonight. We sold over 40 CD's. Way more than I thought we would. All the friends came out, well most of them anyways. The few that didn't make it, I really wish you were there. All the bands were great. Well Hero dropped off due to a family emergency. I was bummed on that. But Take Hold and Lead By Example split a set. I was way impressed by both of them. Anyways, i'm so tired right now and I can't think. So I'll just leave it at that.
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| Since You've Been Gone... |
[19 Mar 2005|12:35pm] |
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Ever since last night I can't get that damn song out of my head. Fuck you Kelly Clarkson.
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| X-Ray... |
[02 Mar 2005|01:01pm] |
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So yeah. If you were at the show, you know I fucked up my ankle. I walked on it fine at the show. Even the following day I walked on it at school all day. I go back to Erin's house to change and notice bruising on both sides of my ankle. Sure enough, went to the ER last night to find out from the X-rays that I have a chip bone fracture. I might need a cast, and I think I heard something about taking it out? So that means surgery? Fucking gaymo. For right now, they put me on a splint and I have to walk around with crutches. This shit is totally fucking retarded. Stage diving is over rated.
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| Gimp... |
[26 Feb 2005|02:19pm] |
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Fuck a busted ankle.
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| 7 Months... |
[22 Feb 2005|11:08am] |
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Yesterday was a good day.
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suicidexthug's journal
